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The End of the Beginning

I realize that it’s been a while since I wrote last. I’m not sure why I took a break from blogging for almost two months. Perhaps it was because things have been busy, perhaps it was because I needed to reorganize in my mind how I wanted to present myself to the world in my own domain, or perhaps it was because I just didn’t want to write for a while.

Whatever the reason, I’m writing now, which is what matters.

Right now, in this particular year, I am feeling sad. I could come up with a better word than “sad”, but the truth is that “sad” sums up my feelings pretty well.

I started my job as Parker’s Librarian three years ago. It was the same year this year’s graduating class started. There is a group of 15 (now) 8th grade students who come to the Library every morning. Three days a week they run the news show; other days they just come to chat with one another and me, starting the day as they always to: camped out in the Library.

There are four students of the bunch that I will miss terribly. To me, they are Parker. I don’t quite know how to start the day without them.

So as I start to think about watching them graduate, I realize how bittersweet the moment will be for me. Am I proud of who they have become in their middle school career? Absolutely, beyond words. Do I feel that they are ready for the challenges and more adult-like atmosphere of the high school? Without a doubt.

Will I miss seeing their smiles every morning, working hard to run the Library’s programs, succeed in school, and be genuinely good people? Yes. The gratitude I feel towards the universe for making these students my first students bursts out of my heart.

My mother’s a teacher and when I told her how sad I feel about them leaving she said, “It’s okay. They will always be your first and no one will compare. It’s perfectly okay to remember them as such. You’re lucky that your first class included such amazing children.”

Bittersweet? Yes. But mostly sweet for I can consider myself a lucky one.

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